You’re involved in negotiation more than you think. I am not talking about large scale, multi-million dollar contracts, or even buying a house or car; I am talking about everyday life. We negotiate at various levels all the time: setting electronic game limits with your children, where to eat dinner, meetings at work. These are all times where we negotiate.

Here are a few basic assumptions that I use with every negotiation, big or small:

– Everyone wants to be successful.

– Winning doesn’t have to mean someone has to lose.

– Most people agree on a positive end state but may disagree on how to get there.

With those assumptions in mind, these four steps will lead you through a successful negotiation:

Before negotiation, do your research. Stick to the facts and only the facts. There is no room for emotion in fact gathering. Now I am not saying this is easy, but it is needed. Howard Baker, former U.S. Senator and Presidential Chief of Staff, was known as the “Great Conciliator” for his success in brokering comprise and passing legislation. He said, “The most difficult thing in any negotiation…is making sure that you strip it of the emotion and deal with the facts.”

What is the desired end state? Keep your focus forward. Remember your goal is to accomplish something good here.

What has happened? What has gone well, what didn’t go as planned? Be ready to discuss these facts later.

What didn’t happen? What items didn’t get done at all? Be ready to admit if you or your team missed something.

What needs to happen? What has to be accomplished to reach the desired end state? This is not a list of who has to do it, just a list of what.

Begin negotiation by confirming alignment on the desired end state. It is much easier to picture what things look like when they are done and working then it is to picture how to get there.

Everything begins with a purpose. What are we trying to accomplish (not how, that comes next)? It is rare that two parties can’t agree on a mutually beneficial end state – even if it is just words at the moment.

“Begin with the end in mind.” ­– Stephen Covey

Continue negotiation by moving through the roadblocks to success by asking questions that draw out the issues. Listening is one of the most powerful tools in a negotiation.

Listen to the other party state their case and do not take anything they say personally – you should already know these issues anyway from your research. Brian Koslow, President of Strategic Coaching, Inc. and Best Selling Author advises that personalities can cloud your vision:

“During a negotiation, it would be wise not to take anything personally. If you leave personalities out of it you will be able to see opportunities more objectively.”

When you have elicited all the issues from the other party it is once again your time to talk. At this point you should share the facts you learned that describe what has been working that is leading you both closer to the end state. Only after you do this should you restate what isn’t working in a factual basis with no judgment or blame. But ready to accept responsibility if you or your team dropped the ball.

Complete negotiations by restating the desired end state and the original plan to achieve it. Restate what has been done that worked, then discuss what has not worked. Lastly suggest and ask for alternatives to get to the agreed upon desired end state.

Think of this part of negotiation as asking for the sale, and the desired end state as your product. Remember, selling is a process of matching the needs of your customer with the benefits of your product. If you believe in your product and think of the other party in a negotiation as your customer, than you must ask for the sale. As Zig Ziglar said, “We miss 100 percent of the sales we don’t ask for.”

According to Gallup’s 2013 employee engagement report, on average only 30% of employees are engaged at work, 50% are not engaged, and 20% are actively disengaged. To put this in perspective, imagine that the average company is a rowboat with ten people on board trying to row to shore.  This would mean that only three people are rowing the boat back to shore, while five people have their oars out of the water, and two people are rowing out to sea.  Not exactly a formula for success.

Why doesn’t everyone row in the same direction to help the team win?  Why isn’t everyone engaged?

Here are the five keys to keeping long term employees engaged:

The first key to keeping long term employees engaged, is to treat everyone as a long term employee.  Is there a difference in engagement between the newer employee and the long term employee?  According to Gallup, the answer is yes.   What surprised me is the definition of long term employee.  Engagement scores are the highest during the first six months of employment and from that point forward scores drop by 10 percentage points, and on average never recover.

“The relatively high engagement levels of workers with tenure of less than six months may reflect a “honeymoon” effect in which employees’ initial excitement about being a part of their new organization counteracts any preliminary negative impressions.” – Gallup

The second key to keeping long time employees engaged is a diligent focus on engagement.  Companies that consistently focus on engagement with their employees can reverse the declining trend after the first six months.  Scores increase across employee tenure for companies that have a multi-year commitment to employee engagement.  In fact after nine years of dedicated focus, engagement scores are slightly above 60 – twice the average score. 

“Engagement increases at all levels of tenure as employees continue to participate in focused initiatives to improve their engagement.”  – Gallup

The third key to keeping long time employees engaged is to assign accountability. Senior executives from the CEO down have to be dedicated to employee engagement and make it a priority for them and their managers.  Don’t just talk privately in meetings about its importance.  Document your expectations in annual goals; assign due dates to each step of the process and track progress; make action steps short term and achievable; and most importantly, coach your managers on how to achieve employee engagement.

“Transformation occurs at the local level, but it only happens when the tone is set from the top down.” – Gallup

The fourth key to keeping long time employees engaged is to focus on developing their strengths. The difference in engagement of employees in organizations that focus on employee’s strengths versus those that focus on their weaknesses, or worse ignore their employee’s development is staggering.  It won’t be a surprise to anyone that organizations that ignore their employees have a very low engagement score – it’s 3%.  But some may say that focusing on helping employees improve their weaknesses is a good thing, and the engagement score proves that right – it’s 45%.  But when companies focus on developing their employee’s strengths engagement increases to 61%.

If we go back to the boat rowing example in the beginning of this article we also looked at the level of active disengagement – this is when people work against the goals of the organization.  Now here is when the difference in focusing on weakness versus strengths really shows results.  When focusing on improving weaknesses, 22% of employees are still actively disengaged.  But when focusing on developing strengths, only 1% of employees are actively disengaged.

“The best opportunity for people to grow and develop is to identify the ways in which they most naturally think, feel, and behave, and then build on those talents to create strengths.” – Gallup

The fifth key to keeping long time employees engaged is to make all employees part of the solution.  If you want your employees to be engaged, then engage them in the discussion.  I always say if you want to know something than ask someone who knows.  It’s really that simple.  Talk to your employees, ask them what they need to be engaged.  The answers can’t come from managers, you need to hear the unique needs of each group.

There are commonalities in answers when questions about engagement are raised.  For instance according to Gallup, “Opportunity to do best” and “mission and purpose” are the strongest factors for retaining employees. But when considering younger generations, “opportunities to learn and grow” is important, while “supervisor cares” is more important for older generations.

“Action planning boosts employee engagement because the process itself demonstrates that the opinions of each person on the team matters.”

Leaders: People will perform up to your expectations – set your expectations at your team’s full potential, then help them succeed.

Names Effect Enthusiasm

Sports teams select names that are meant to encourage the team to succeed and inspire the fans to cheer.

Some professional teams have names that represent action like:

1. The San Diego Chargers
2. Detroit Tigers
3. Chicago Bulls

Other teams have names that celebrate their towns like:

1. The New England Patriots
2. Phoenix Suns
3. Montreal Canadians

Can you imagine sports teams with a name like: “The Fumblers” or “The Strike-Outs” or “The Penalty Box?” Of course not.

Read the rest of my latest post on linked2leadership on setting expectations for success.

Take a look at my post on Linked2leadership