Leaders: Can you give, and take, criticism?

Criticism shoesWhy do leaders need to be concerned with criticism at all?  Doesn’t the adage say you will get more of whatever you focus on, so focus on positive reinforcement?  Focusing on criticism will bring a negative response.  It’s why the first word for most children is NO; that’s what they hear the most.

Deep inside, no one really likes to hear criticism.  It’s much more satisfying in the short run to hear how good we are.  But in the long run the most successful leaders not only accept criticism, they ask for it – that’s how we got 360 degree evaluations.

The best leaders are good at giving criticism because they were first good at receiving criticism. Mark Twain said, “One mustn’t criticize other people on grounds where he can’t stand perpendicular himself.”

“Few people have the wisdom to prefer the criticism that would do them good, to the praise that deceives them.” – Francis de La Rochefoucauld

On their way to success, successful leaders learned that while they may not enjoy criticism, they need it.

“Criticism may not be agreeable, but it is necessary.  It fulfills the same function as pain in the human body. It calls attention to an unhealthy state of things.”– Winston Churchill

Can you avoid criticism? Sure, you always have that option.  Aristotle long ago told us how, “Criticism is something we can avoid easily by saying nothing, doing nothing, and being nothing.” But if you want success in your life, you’ll have to deal with criticism.

Let’s start with the more difficult of sides – receiving criticism.

In the area of criticism you have two choices: One is to accept advice and add to your knowledge; the other is to reject reproof and risk never improving.  Successful leaders continue to strive to be the best they can be.  They have determined that while praise flatters your ego, criticism expands your opportunities.

You must resolve to seek out individuals that you respect who consider criticism an act of passing on wisdom. Then listen to what they say, analyze their advice in your life, and take action to correct those areas.

“We need very strong ears to hear ourselves judged frankly, and because there are few who can endure frank criticism without being stung by it, those who venture to criticize us perform a remarkable act of friendship…” Michel de Montaigne

 Basketball great LeBron James once said, “I like criticism. It makes you strong.”

Now onto giving correction – easier to deliver, not so easy to do deliver right.

Before giving criticism, remember what it feels like to be on the receiving end – even from the closest of friends.  Prepare your words carefully and point out issues in the action not the actor.  People become who they think they are; help them see the best in themselves while you help them become the best of themselves.

“He has a right to criticize, who has a heart to help.”  – Abraham Lincoln

Do you have the courage to encourage?  Building up takes more time and energy than tearing down.  If you truly believe you are passing down wisdom with the intent of helping someone improve, prune the branches, don’t dig up the plant.  Pick certain narrowly focused issues to discuss and work only on those.

“Criticism, like rain, should be gentle enough to nourish a man’s growth without destroying his roots.” Frank A. Clark

There is a fine line between picking issues to criticize and nitpicking at every turn.  People need a chance to stand back up and move forward without fearing another correction.  All issues are not in need of instant correction, and besides, you may not always be right.

“Experience has two things to teach: the first is that we must correct a great deal; the second I’d that we must not correct too much.” – Delacroix

6 Responses to Leaders: Can you give, and take, criticism?
  1. Joy Jones

    Wow, what an awesome post! Criticism is hard to take, but it truly is a gift when someone takes the time to provide honest feedback to help you grow. I agree that it is so important to phrase your criticism appropriately as well or it will not be heard for what it is(an opportunity to learn).

    • Denis G. McLaughlin

      Thanks Joy. I always appreciate your comments.

  2. Renae Richardson

    I really believe in the depth of what you said in this regard “The best leaders are good at giving criticism because they were first good at receiving criticism.” Criticism stings but he/she who can endure it and seek to make the changes necessary he/she has earned the right to lead because he or she has become one of the greatest things a student of life. Through this wisdom is gained. Very powerful piece.

    • Denis G. McLaughlin

      Renae, thank you for your comment. I like your summary statement about being a student of life. That is a very important step for one to take that seeks to lead.

  3. Valrie

    what are your leader of the school a class a college institution a city town or country if the leader is not open to advice to address the possibility of changing reform where does that leave its people our minds need to be like a parachute always open if we close our minds to advice we close our minds opportunities to make us into a better person

    • Denis G. McLaughlin

      Valerie great point. Open minds = open opportunities.