I started golfing with my older brother when I was about ten years old. Since my brother and I were a twosome, the starters on the course always found two other players to join us to make a foursome. Most of the time, the two other players were older gentlemen.
These older gentlemen would instruct us after most every shot. I found it puzzling that these gentlemen, who couldn’t hit the ball any farther or straighter than either my brother or I, and had just spent the afternoon giving us advice, would always leave the course with a smile and a handshake, saying they enjoyed golfing with us and reminding us of that one hole, or sometimes a single shot, that one of us had played well.
These older players weren’t just playing golf with a couple of young kids. They were building relationships. I still remember them today. They had a life-long influence on how I play the game of golf, and how I lead.
Sure, I learned some of the basics of golf – head down, follow through – but more importantly I discovered that sustained success comes from enjoying the journey and celebrating the small successes along the way.
The relationship built through leadership is remembered long after understanding and knowledge are imparted.
Sounds easy, right? Build a good relationship while you lead your team through the technical requirements.
I found that almost any smart person can teach you the fundamentals of your job. But there are only a few bosses that I really remember fondly, and those were the ones that took the time to build a relationship. The reason this doesn’t happen more often according to Roger Enrico, former Chairman of Pepsico and Dreamworks: “The soft stuff is always harder than the hard stuff.”
Relationships take investment, and unlike teaching technical knowledge, you are never done. But, if you want to be the leader who is able to influence your team to life-long success, it’s the only way.
Remember what Theodore Roosevelt said, “Nobody cares how much you know, until they know how much you care.”
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